What the United Nations and Anytime Fitness have in common

Frequently, people ask me why I made such a "drastic career change" from being the owner of the Anytime Fitness franchise in Cottage Grove, Oregon to starting a Master's degree in Conflict Resolution and interning at the United Nations.  This question surprised me at first because, from my perspective, it’s not a career change at all.  My goal has always been to live a healthy and happy life, and to help others to do the same.  Exercise and peaceful conflict resolution may be more closely related than you've previously considered.

Let's first look at exercise.  By now it's no secret that we all need exercise for good health.  And not just once in a while, or for just a month or a year.  For the rest of our lives.  On most days of the week.  That's one of the realities of life, as I see it.  Exercise, like brushing our teeth, is something we have to do for good health.  And not just physical health, mental health is impacted by exercise as well.  Regular exercisers have higher self-esteem, sleep better, miss less days of and are more productive at work, and have more energy to spend playing with their kids or having sex.  (Yes, regular exercisers have more sex).  Again, you've likely heard this all before.  I'm going to take it a step further and state that, based on my observations; people who exercise regularly are generally happier people. 

If all this is true - regular exercisers lead happier, more productive lives - why isn't everyone doing it?  Well, because exercising regularly is a hard thing to do.  It takes time, extra effort and self-discipline.  Let's face it; not exercising is just so much easier.

Now let's turn to the subject of conflict.  Like exercise, conflict is a reality of life.  Unlike exercise, which has a positive connotation, conflict has a negative one.  People generally hate conflict and avoid it when possible.  Conflict also has numerous meanings.  It can be everything from feeling frustrated at your boss for never acknowledging the good work you do, to religious groups killing in order to gain control of land.  For the sake of this conversation, I want to think about the former, so-called interpersonal conflict.

Each of us experiences interpersonal conflict, likely on most days of the week.  In your family, at the workplace, in the community - this type of conflict is ubiquitous.  It may increase our stress levels, causing us to lose sleep, and have less energy.  (And you know what that means...less sex).  In general, it has a negative impact on our lives...which is exactly why we try to avoid it.  But here's the reality - interpersonal conflict is unavoidable.  Unless you decide to live alone in a cave, you will never be able to go through life conflict-free.  So why don't we accept the fact that we can't avoid conflict and instead focus on how to handle it in a productive yet peaceful manner?

Here are some possible answers to that question.  

1. In contemporary American society, non-confrontation is more accepted than confrontation.  The status quo supports serving your neighbor with a lawsuit over simply talking to him.  Why?  There are lots of psychological theories that help explain this that I'll save for another blog post.  Suffice it to say, confronting someone about a concern you have with them can be a very scary, and risky, thing to do.  

2. We don't have the tools we need to communicate in a manner which would aid in resolving the conflict.  My junior and high school American education taught me how to speak English well; I know a little bit about history too.  But I can't recall ever having a required class that helped me relate to other people.  A class that taught me skills like suspending my judgment until I have all the facts or striving to see things from another's perspective.  This may be most important knowledge we offer our children, yet, most adults aren't taught these skills.
3. Like exercise, handling conflict peacefully and productively is a hard thing to do.  It takes time, extra effort and self-discipline.  Let's face it; not trying is just so much easier.

Think about a time you felt angry at someone for something they did, and it caused you to treat them differently.  You felt justified in your new treatment of them because, in your mind, you were right and they were wrong.  (In their mind the exact opposite was true).  Then, one day you learned something that you didn't previously know, and it turned out your anger was misplaced.  Do you remember the feeling that washed over you after learning what really happened?  How did you react?  Did how you behaved toward them during the conflict cause you to feel embarrassment?  Were you concerned that your future relationship might be affected?  Did you regret that you hadn't just talked to them about it and straightened things out from the beginning?  Why didn't you?  

Now think about a time when you chose to address a conflict you were having with someone that resulted in a better understanding of what had happened.  You left the conversation free of the trepidation you went in with.  Not only were you relieved that the conflict had been resolved, you were proud of yourself for handling it the way you did.  You saved yourself weeks of damaging stress.  As a consequence, you were happier and healthier.

The way I see it, handling conflict in a peaceful and productive manner is not only a good idea, it's imperative for living a healthy life.  Here is where I draw the parallel between conflict resolution and exercise.  For years people thought exercise was a good idea - something you could choose to do if you wanted to.  We now know that exercise is required for optimum health.  Likewise, resolving our issues in a peaceful manner is not just a good idea; peaceful and productive conflict management is required for optimum health.  It's an idea some professionals in the conflict resolution field call positive conflict.

Seemingly an oxymoron, positive conflict is the idea that we should not only accept that conflict is inevitable, we should use it to our advantage.  Conflict can act as an optimum opportunity for learning and growth if we choose to approach it as such.  A nascent idea even in academia, moving to a culture of positive conflict will require an entire psychological paradigm shift.  Discussing it on this blog post is proof that the shift has already begun.

So, you see, the United Nations and Anytime Fitness aren't so disparate after all.  I opened an Anytime Fitness club in order to encourage others to live a healthier, and therefore happier, life.  I'm pursuing a Master's degree in Conflict Resolution and working at the United Nations for exactly the same reason.  There is no easy answer to what makes for a happy life, but based on my experience, exercise and peaceful conflict resolution are two key elements.

I will leave you with one of the most clever and unique things I've seen in New York...the Times Square "Free Hugs" guy...

"The UN was not created to take humanity to heaven, but to save it from hell." -Former UNSG Dag Hammarskjold

This photo hangs on the wall at UNHQ.  What are your thoughts about this photo?  

Since becoming interested in human rights as a Peace Corps volunteer in West Africa five years ago, I've spent a lot of time thinking about situations like the one portrayed in this photo.  For me, it conjures images of voices being silenced, lives being snubbed out - the lack of human rights.  Today, more than 60 years since unanimous ratification of the UN's Universal Declaration of Human Rights http://www.un.org/en/documents/udhr/, we continue to live in a world in which crimes against humanity are happening every day.  Why?

I wonder about the boy in this photo - where he was born, what his home life was like.  What is he fighting for?  Is he part of a militia sanctioned by a corrupt government who is sent to rape and murder villagers in their homes, or is he a member of a rebel group attempting to overthrow that corrupt government and restore peace to his village?  Whatever the answer, I think it’s reasonable to assume it’s something that affects his daily life.

Does it affect your daily life?  Probably not.  Like most Americans, you are more likely to be concerned with getting your kids to school on time with clean teeth and deciding whether to have fish or chicken for dinner, respectfully.  You probably don't give much thought to people being subjected to having their homes burned and children forcibly taken from them.  Why?  I think Maslow helps answer that question.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs provides a foundation upon which much of social psychology rests.  At the bottom of the triangle lay our most basic needs: food, water, sleep, etc.  As we elevate toward the pinnacle, we reach a place where self-actualization is paramount - the need to solve problems, be creative, act morally and the like.

From my perspective, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights is about ensuring that all people have the opportunity to seek self-actualization.  Many of us will never become self-actualized, but the point is we should have the chance.  Self-actualization is not about money or fame.  It's about your relationship with the world around you.  Think about where you see yourself in Maslow's hierarchy.  Think about why you're there, and how you got there.

Although it’s true that individuals born in every country in the world may have the opportunity to become self-actualized, I believe where you were born has enormous effect on your chances.  And because I'm of the belief that we don't have any say in where we're born, those of us born into privilege should be very grateful.  Seeking self-actualization is a privileged place to be.  It’s a place I'm doubtful the boy in the top photo will ever enjoy.

I believe in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.  The Declaration should not represent some esoteric idea of an unattainable Utopian society - if we think of it that way that's all it will be.  I believe we need to actively promote the ideas of the Declaration.  Protecting human rights for all individuals should be the most important challenge we face.

We can no longer sit back and wait for peace to come.  If we want it, we must actively pursue it.  Each of us has a role to play.  The UN has a role, President Obama has his role, you have your role, and I have mine.  It's time we stop thinking of world peace as somebody else's problem - holding on to the naive viewpoint that we are disempowered.  Given the vast intelligence and creativity of the human race, I am convinced we have the ability to protect human rights in every country in the world.  It’s a matter of will.

However, this is just my opinion.  There are some who would argue that we don’t have the ability to end human rights violations – that if we did, we would have done it already.  What do you think?  Do we fail at protecting human rights because we don’t have the ability, or because we don’t have the will?

United Nations 101

The United Nations was formed in the wake of World War II in an effort to prevent another world war from occurring in the future.  The UN is commonly known for facilitating cooperation international law and security, economic development, social progress, and human rights.  Ultimately, the UN hopes to achieve world peace.

The structure of the UN is quite complex due to the size of the organization. The constituents of the UN are the countries of the world - 193 of them - and they all (literally) get a seat at the table.  Deemed "Member States", the General Assembly Hall at UNHQ in New York is where representatives from each nation meet to discuss myriad international issues.  The GA mostly handles economic and social topics including pursuing the Millennium Development Goals http://www.un.org/millenniumgoals/.  You can check out what's happening on a day-to-day basis at the UN by visiting www.un.org then clicking on UN Journal on the lower left: http://www.un.org/en/documents/journal.asp

The UN General Assembly Hall

Despite the wonderful progress and positive impact the UN is having on the world from an economic and social perspective, the news media is much more likely to cover security, human rights and international law concerns.  These types of concerns are handled by the UN Security Council whose primary accountability is maintaining international peace and security (no sweat, right?!).

The UN Security Council

The Security Council has 15 total members: five permanent and ten non-permanent.  The permanent members are Russia, China, the UK, France and the US, and each holds veto power.  That means that if 14 members vote in favor of a resolution, it only takes one permanent member to vote against it and it won't be passed.  I imagine it must be difficult for members of the Security Council to balance what they think is best for the international community and the interests of their respective states.  The next time you see the headline, "The UN Security Council failed to act," dig a little deeper and discover why you think the Security Council members weren't able to reach consensus.


The seeming incongruity of state sovereignty and international peace is a topic that's on my mind a lot these days.  Think about your next-door neighbor: his property is conspicuously definitive from yours.  Can he do whatever he wants on his property?  "Sure", you may think, "it's his life and he's on his own property, who am I to interfere?"  You and your neighbor may likely think this of each other until some incident occurs that could negatively impact you.  Say, he's out sunbathing in the nude.  It may sound silly, but the same basic conflict dynamics are at play between you and your neighbor as they are between two neighboring countries (although it's much harder to see nude sunbathers across international lines).

So what do you do about your nude sunbathing neighbor?  You have some sort of recourse, don't you?  You can go talk to him and let him know what's bothering you.  He may be of the opinion that it's his property and he can do what he wants - his actions aren't harming anyone.  If you aren't able to reach a resolution via direct conversation, you could try enlisting help from a neutral third party by calling the experienced professionals at Community Mediation Services in Eugene, Oregon (*wink*).  Barring a solution from that, you can call the police and lodge a complaint.  You can check the law to ensure the appropriate regulations are in place to protect you, and appeal to your local government for change if they're not.  The point is, you can do something.

How does this conflict scenario play out at an international level?  Disputes between bordering countries are often made up of the same general ingredients: one group does something they perceive as benign and the other group perceives as offensive.  Frequently, a conversation between the two respective governments yields no resolution.  Then what?  Who do the leaders of these nations look to for help in resolving their dispute?  Who makes the laws that countries have to abide by?  And who enforces the law when its broken?  Although numerous organizations - governmental and non - work to provide answers to these questions, the truth is its very difficult to both make and enforce international laws.  The United Nations is viewed by many as the organization ultimately responsible for resolving all types of international conflict.

Despite this, the United Nations does not have any real policing power.  I frequently talk to people who see UN "troops" on the news flooding into a conflict area with guns on their hips, and they assume the UN has a well-trained and fortified army at their disposal.  That's not the case.  The UN does employ Peacekeepers who are sent to conflict areas to help maintain peace and security, especially in the aftermath of a war, but there are some important things to know about the limits of the UN Peacekeeping mandate.  First, UN Peacekeepers do not use force unless their lives are in danger.  In other words, they are not there to fight or perpetuate war; weapons, if carried, are for purposes of self-defense only.  Peacekeepers also must be invited in - the UN does not just send troops into areas without the informed consent of the authorities.  Peacekeepers are also impartial - they remain on the side of international peace and security and do not advocate for any one party.

My interest in international conflict and human rights is extrapolated from my curiosity about what you think is ok and what's not ok for your neighbor to do.  In other words, where is the line between your neighbor's sovereignty and your discomfort?  If you happened to glance out your window one time and see your nude sunbathing neighbor, would it cause you to take action?  What if your 6 year old daughter alerted you to the situation...would that change how you choose to respond?

What if you were to witness your neighbor acting in a drastically more heinous manner, like committing acts of rape or murder?  If you knew the person living at the end of your block was performing such a despicable act, would you do something to stop it?  What about someone in the next town?   A neighboring state?  Here's where confusion sets in for me - why we don't take action when people are beaten to death and raped in other countries.  This is happening in the world right now.  Is it that distance somehow softens our demand for justice, or do we default back to sovereignty?

Like most organizations, I believe the UN does the best it can with the tools its been given.  In the face of highly egregious human rights violations like rape and murder, a Security Council resolution can only go so far.  It is here that I believe the international community needs the most improvement.  Because no international police presence really exists, who is responsible for enforcing SC resolutions relating to human rights violations?

I'll leave you with a picture outside UNHQ at the famous non-violence artwork, aka "Knotted Gun".  Please contact me if you have any ideas for how to answer some of the questions posed in this post.  Thanks for reading.

A Moment with the UN Secretary-General

I had the unparalleled experience of meeting UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon recently.  I am pictured here (if you can find me) with my intern colleagues in the General Assembly hall.  After the photo, Mr. Ki-moon gave a short speech about the importance of our role as interns at the UN and some thoughts about how bright our futures are.  I was impressed and inspired by his words.

I remember coming across a picture like this one while I was browsing the internet prior to my interview for this position.  I thought about what an honor it would be to be amongst those chosen to represent themselves, their countries, universities, communities and families, by working as an intern at the UN.  I am very proud to be the first University of Oregon grad student to have accepted this honor.  I'm also proud to represent my neighbors in Cottage Grove, Oregon, perhaps the most idyllic small town in America.  Thank you to all of you who helped make this experience possible for me, and for recognizing this accomplishment.

Thank you to Oregon Law who is currently featuring this story about my internship on their home page:
http://law.uoregon.edu/2012/04/16/kcoy-un/